Stress. It is currently taking refuge on my shoulders, boldly waiting for me to crumble under it's pressure. Being a third year uni student is hard work. Being a third year uni student, with a job, a plummeting bank balance, panic over the future, the want to do everything, but the will to do none of it, a to-do list longer than your arm, prior commitments etc... is even harder. Especially when you're me. Depending on the time of year, and my general mood, stress effects me in different ways. Sometimes it's the fire I need to motivate myself into getting shit done, other times it's pushing me to want to hide under my duvet, and never see another human being again. Currently it's the latter, but I am trying to fight through that. Third year is important. It can make or break your future.
I don't want to break.
My sanity is all I have.
My parents went on holiday yesterday, leaving me home alone with my brother, so naturally I took him to get his first tattoo. I told myself I would do work when I got home, but as he couldn't get an appointment until 3pm, I knew that wasn't going to be the case. Here enters Daniella, I walked down to my old high school, to pick up the A Level certificates I should have I should have picked up three years ago, and whilst I was waiting Daniella messaged me, and we decided to meet up. If you haven't seen me mention her before, Daniella is one of my oldest and dearest friends, We met when we were eleven, and have been friends ever since.
She picked my brother and I up, and we went with her whilst she ran some errands. We ended up playing songs from Wicked, and Frozen, as loud as her car stereo would go, and singing a long, as we sped down the road. It felt slightly cinematic, a scene from an indie movie where the main protagonists throw cause into the wind, as the perfect song comes on the radio, and drive off into the sunset - it felt pretty magical.
After that, she dropped us off to go get my brothers tattoo, and she went on her merry way.
Forty-five minutes later, brotherkins had his first tattoo completed, and we went home, where I made us dinner. If it wasn't for me, that boy would be eating nothing but microwave meals, and unbuttered bread, this week.
I don't mean to boast, but one of my secret talents is cooking. I love combining the different flavours of food, and experimenting with the different possibilities of each outcome. Last night I made burritoy/fajita type things, with a bunch of ingredients I found lurking around the cupboards and fridge. I have a tendency of using more garlic than what is needed in everything that I cook, because garlic is one of my favourite elements within food - that and onion.
All of the above ingredients, when mixed together in the right way, with a bunch of tomatoes added in at the last minute, will make what you see below. (Chicken, Onions, Garlic, Peppers, Tomatoes, Table Spoon of Vinegar, Chicken Seasoning of your choice) Then grab some tortilla wraps, scoop some in, add cheese, and voila! It was really great.
After I washed up, I told myself I was going to make a start on my work. I got everything out, made a todo list, piled it into relevant piles, and then I decided to make cookies. They didn't turn out that great, but it passed the time.
After cleaning the kitchen again, and writing another todo list, I gave up with trying to work, and went to bed. And although I felt bad at not having done any of the work I wanted to, I felt better within myself - I felt somewhat relaxed, and that I had the ability to go on. I accidentally took a day for myself, and it really put things into perspective. I think I am in a clearer frame of mind to work, and although I am worrying about the amount of work I still have to do, I am a little bit less stressed.
Stress 0 || Kirstie 1
