"I was feeling the lack of feeling," It's what I have been saying to myself all day. I don't know how to describe it; I guess it's just one of those things that you can't understand unless you've been there yourself. Anyway, I wrote this last night, and I want to share it with you.
Concerts used to heal my soul, but tonight as I stand here, listening to one of my favourite bands, I feel anything but. There was a part of me, that absorbed the bass, the lyrics, the atmosphere, and for a brief moment in time, it fixed everything. In those few hours, where I was singing my heart out, being drenched in other peoples sweat, I was okay, I was whole. And it felt fucking good.
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Concerts used to heal my soul, but tonight as I stand here, listening to one of my favourite bands, I feel anything but. There was a part of me, that absorbed the bass, the lyrics, the atmosphere, and for a brief moment in time, it fixed everything. In those few hours, where I was singing my heart out, being drenched in other peoples sweat, I was okay, I was whole. And it felt fucking good.
Tonight (and most of the other concerts I've been to in the past two/three years) was different. I didn't feel any of that, I didn't feel anything. I don't feel anything. I don't feel. And I don't know how to change that. Is it even possible to change that? You can fix a broken vase, but no matter how much work and effort you put into restoring it, if you look hard enough, the cracks are still there, and I guess that is the same with people, and the more you try and fix something with the same tools, it eventually stops working. Super glue, isn't always super.
Kirstie xoxo
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